For Today
by LightAngelHiroko
Summary: Syou Kurusu has always lived in the now, tackling life head-on, leaving behind no regrets. For he knows all too well how short life can be. Syou-centeric, light Natsuki/Syou.
1. Today

**Well here goes, my first Uta no Prince-sama fanfiction. I wrote this first as a one shot then it developed into something long and chaptered somehow… Now it's more like a three shot? XD Anyway enjoy part 1!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Uta no Prince-sama! If I did I wouldn't be writing fanfic's**

**Natsuki/Syou- light**

For Today:

"I told you! There's no way in hell I'm wear that!" The ear piercing cries of a student, Saotome Academy's notorious S-Class, young fashion prodigy, self-declared prince of songs, the one and only Kurusu Syou, filled the dormitory building despite the late hour.

The noise was a normal occurrence for the residents who had the misfortune of sharing the same living floor as the rowdy blonde haired duo from the rising Starish group. On some days the ruckus would warrant a brave soul to risk a shout, knock at the door, sometimes even a desperate plea to get the two to quiet down but never more. For all hope of a peaceful night had end the moment Kurusu Syou's name had been printed alongside Shinomiya Natsuki for the year rooming arrangements.

Syou clamped a hand over his own mouth the moment the exacerbated yell left his lips, shooting a glare in the direction of his roommate. He never deliberately intended to ruin the lives and degrade the sanity of his neighbors, yet Natsuki was simply infuriating sometimes.

The said boy was hovering over his smaller friend menacingly, silent and smiling with a dangerously false innocence. His expression mirroring the predatory anticipation of a greedy child opening their first birthday present: focused, unshakable. The victory was already his, and that needed overcome now was the wrapping, a weak obstacle, much like Syou's own constant protest.

"Come on Syou-chan! It's adorable! I just want to take a few pictures!" Natsuki whined inching closer to the boy pinned between the frilly mass of pink lace and the door.

Syou bit back his next indignant request to be left alone. He hated that he always allowed the other boy to rile him so; yelling like this where everyone could hear was nothing short of embarrassing. He was acting like a child and he knew it, a brat, a nuisance; and yet the smile that it put on Natsuki's face, more so than simply dressing him up the other boy seemed to enjoy the chase, made it almost worth the humiliation, almost.

This time, however, the dreadful arrangement of girly something being shoved into his face was just too much.

"No way!" Syou barked out despite himself and moving quickly bolted to get the door behind him open. His success was sheer luck as he flung it open, narrowly missing giving Natsuki a minor concussion as he did so. With a profound sense of freedom Syou he threw himself into the deserted hallway as if the space itself would save him. Knowing all too well that it would only be a matter of time before Natsuki and his outfit of monstrosity would be on the hunt. The petite blonde's heart quickened at the thought. Without wasting a moment Syou set off down the hallway in a sprint.

Honestly Syou didn't know when it had started, this game of cat and mouse, but it had become so route that he could hardly imagine a day without it. To give in to his pursuer would be to give up, something Syou was extremely bad at.

Still the blonde knew it was a bad idea to run, Natsuki always managed to catch him in the end even on his best days, and lately Syou had been stubborn and silently nursing himself through some rather unpleasant chest pains.

Even when he felt the tightening in his chest and burning in the muscles of his legs Syou pressed on. Today he was determined to keep his dignity intact, but out running Natsuki was no easy feat.

The first floor, around the corner of the main common room, was as far as Syou made it before he bent over panting heavily. It wasn't nearly far enough to escape his roommate's keen sight, yet his lungs protested in exhaustion and his legs would carry him no further without a break.

"Yo! Shorty! Whatcha up to?" A loud shout without a doubt directed in his way made Syou's head snap up. That fool Ittoki was about to slam a giant target right on to his back. The blonde was just about to hush the new comer, graciously forgiving of the derogatory comment about his height, when the aching in his chest suddenly flared into a stabbing pain.

"Shit…"doubling over once again, Syou's hand unconsciously moved to clutch at the fabric covering his chest. Almost belatedly he noticed the forebodingly familiar sporadic pounding of his heart, reverberating in his ears sickeningly loud; the heavy pressure building in chest, forcing the air from his lungs, the fire from his thoughts.

"Syou?!" The red-head whom Syou had nearly forgotten was standing beside him was quickly on his knees, confusion written clearly over his features. "You okay? What's going on?"

Syou ignored his friend suddenly lightheaded and too out of breath to speak.

'Just calm down…' he mentally chided himself. This wasn't happening. If he could just calm down then everything would be fine again. Gasping slightly Syou tried to regulate his breathing.

Yet before he could compose himself in the slightest another voice penetrated his thoughts and sent his mind into a new whirlwind of panic.

Syooou-chaaa-…Syou-chan?!" Natsuki. Of everyone Natsuki was the last person he wanted to see. Just seeing those pale green eyes glossed over with concern and fear sent Syou's heart thudding frantically against his ribs.

Natsuki's hand grasped the smaller boy's shoulder lightly, beckoning Syou to answer the unphrased question lingering heavily over the small group. There was no answer he could give that would satisfy the other boy now.

The blonde closed his eyes against the alarm growing on the faces of the other two boys beside him, the gathering crowd of curious bystanders, and the dizziness threatening his vision. Clenching his teeth against the aching pressure building in his chest Syou turned away from the two.

"I'm fine…" The mumbled words were breathless and doubtless as unconvincing to his friends as they sounded to himself. But that didn't matter. He didn't need their concern: their anxiety adding to his own. Syou willed himself to calm down blocking out the protesting words shot in his direction by Natsuki at his actions.

The erratic palpitations of his heart continued despite his efforts and Syou pressed his hand against the left side of his chest more firmly, as if to manually slow the pounding. It was a futile struggle, that fact was growing increasingly apparent. In the past he'd been able to overcome a few attacks with some deep breathing and calm thoughts but this time was different.

It had come on so suddenly and intensified much more quickly than he had learned to expect. Syou could feel the heat of fear spreading through his system like fire. The inflowing panic filling his mind was hard to combat.

Death was an impossible concept to imagine even though it hung heavily around him all his life. Everyone died eventually, Syou was no fool to the laws of nature; yet to know the expectation, the feeling, the anticipation was unbearably terrifying.

He couldn't die yet. There were still things left to do with his life, dreams to see through, and promises to fulfill. He had worked too hard to stop struggling here. Syou was always a fighter, forging his own path through a life that should have already ended years ago by his doctor's predictions.

Leaving home had worried his parents; it hurt his brother, but Syou needed this school; its energy and liveliness. Every day was an adventure, fun which could chase away the lingering stench of death. Saotome Academy had given him a goal, a reason to live, and friends to live that life for.

He wouldn't die, not yet.

Syou took in a deep breath to relieve the lightheadedness stemming from the lack of proper ventilation. His attempt failed however when the tightness in his chest caused his lungs to seize and the air caught in his throat as a sort of choked gasp.

"Syou! Answer me!" Natsuki was desperate now shaking him lightly by the shoulders, though Syou hadn't heard the said question and could not breathe let alone speak.

Hot tears gathered at the corners of his eyes, the pain coming in waves spreading now from his chest up his spine to his head and down throughout his body. Syou forced his eyes open, blue eyes wide now franticly searching the area from something, anything that could offer relief. There was nothing. Nothing save the soft white folds of Natsuki's nightshirt as Syou's muscles lost strength and his body fell forward listlessly.

Suddenly the blonde felt hyperaware of his surroundings, Natsuki's arms wrapped securely around his torso, trembling lightly. Ittoki's free hand on his back in his other a cell phone, and finally noise erupted around him once again. Words were being spoken, to him, to others and yet he could comprehend nothing; his body limp and unresponsive. Then as quickly as they had peaked his senses faded and he was swept away into darkness.

* * *

Cold was the first sensation to stimulate the comfortable numb of Syou's heavy body. A nagging yet not unbearable twinge starting at his left hand, traveling up through his arm and to the rest of his body. Adversely his right hand maintained a steady heat and pressure which baffled the blonde's cloudy mind more so than the empty cold.

Automatically Syou tried to lift his hand way from the warm weight but found his limb uncooperative and much too heavy, his effort dying away quickly. His concentration flickered and faded his thoughts disjointed and vague until the pressure around his hand increased and reality finally began to seep through the dream like quality of his mind.

After the cold, which was becoming increasingly apparent especially in his lower extremities and left hand, came the smell. A pungent, bitter, familiar odor; the stench of a hospital.

Syou forced his eyes open and turned his head to the right, blinking heavily when he was momentarily blinded by the brightness around him. As his eyes adjusted a head of blonde hair, face downturned, hidden among the folds the starch scratchy hospital sheets, greeted his vision. Out of habit bred into him over the past several months the first name to come to mind was Natsuki, yet something stopped Syou from speaking the name out loud. Some mixture between intuition and familiarity brought another name to his lips despite the fog in his brain, "…Kaoru…"

While Syou was still disoriented, by the twitch of the hand he felt tightening around his own he knew he was not mistaken. Seconds later the head shot up and a pair of crystal blue eyes, strikingly reminiscence of his own stared back at him. Despite the look of fear and concern reflected in his younger brother's eyes Syou was instantly calmed by the others presence.

While there was nothing the bedridden teen hated more than being hospitalized Kaoru always manage to make the ordeal slightly more bearable. Syou wasn't surprised to see his brother here even though Saotome, and its associated hospital, were quite a distance from his home town. Kaoru would travel twice the distance and more, without hesitation, just to be with him.

"Syou!" Kaoru cried falling forward and nestling his head into the corner of Syou's neck. As much as the idol missed and took comfort in his brother's presence, the muscles of his chest were still sore, tight, and not quite ready to support the weight of the other boy.

The moment Syou's breath hitched in discomfort Kaoru pulled away without a word, only the visages of guilt and pain marring his pale features. Syou knew he had frightened his brother terribly, but this was neither the first nor probably the last episode he would have and Kaoru was becoming progressively proficient at keeping his emotions at bay. Still Syou waited until the younger of the two settled down into the chair beside his bed once again before addressing the silence in the room.

It was already obvious what had happened: heart palpitations leading to low blood pressure and thus the blackout. It wasn't exactly the usual symptoms that were associated with his heart condition, but it wasn't uncommon either. Regardless, it no doubt sent both Natsuki and Ittoki into a worried frenzy. While Natsuki was already somewhat aware of his condition, none of the other Starish members were; and he had been fairing so well this year that even Natsuki had been spared from ever witnessing one of his more serious attacks. In fact he had been nearly symptom free since his last surgery when he had to have a pacemaker put in, half a year before his start at Saotome. But even that could only do so much he supposed bitterly.

Turning his thoughts back to the present Syou looked down despite already knowing what he would find. Still, at the horrendously dull, ill-fitting hospital gown that had replaced one of his more favored pajama sets Syou spared a scowl and sigh. He had lost too many nice outfits to those ridiculously sharp hospital scissors. Creeping across the skin along the edge of the material and surly underneath splotchy bruises were already forming. Even as a kid they had never taken it easy on him when trying to manually re-stabilize his heart rhythm.

Pointedly ignoring the look of apprehensive protest that fleeted over his brother's face, Syou pushed himself into an upright position in the bed. Taking a second to allow the dizziness of the movement to settle he took in a deep breath before speaking.

"Sorry, for worrying you. I'll be fine." The blonde muttered halfheartedly, the expression on Kaoru's face informed him that no matter what he said the anxiety would not fade so easily.

Grief filled blue orbs turned downward and Syou watched with growing guilt of his own as his brothers hands balled into fists. No words were needed between them, Syou could felt the anger the fear radiating from Kaoru as if it were his; yet he could not reconcile with those feelings.

While he and Kaoru were externally identical their personalities were polar opposites. Where Kaoru was patient and understanding Syou was hotheaded and impulsive, and yet on this matter a contradiction emerged. Though Kaoru usually managed to maintain his reason and calm, his worrisome nature had a habit of overwriting his logic and his utter distain and fear of Syou's illness never dissipated in the slightest despite the years. Syou on the other hand, though the lingering fear of death remained, learned to accept his condition and resolved to live his life to the fullest no matter how short; there was no time for worrying.

"Shinomiya-kun called me…" Finally Kaoru spoke his voice was soft and it was the tone that made Syou look up in question. This had been his first attack since moving away from home and Kaoru appeared to be feeling the separation at full force. "I-…" His younger brother hesitated again and Syou felt the blunted edge of panic sharpening itself once more. It wasn't like Kaoru to work him up like this, especially during times like these. But it was painfully obvious the other boy had something heavy that he needed to get off his mind.

Syou sighed with false irritation, a pitiful attempt to mask the disappointment he felt within himself. He would always be the constant source of worry for his brother and he couldn't stand it. Even if it was only by an hour he was still the eldest and his duty as an older brother couldn't be dulled by sickness alone. It shouldn't have been anyway.

"What is it?" The bedridden teen questioned pointedly, knowing Kaoru wouldn't truly calm down until he lectured him endlessly. His eyes flicked away from this brother to the calm safely of the window; outside a new day was already in full swing.

"W-why…How can you be so calm…?" Already Syou disliked where his brother intended to lead this conversation, yet before he had time to answer and save them both a lot of time, grief and frustration Kaoru continued. "This time it wasn't the same." The boy in the chair was seated stiffly his eyes downcast, tone absolutely serious. "It wasn't the usual arrythmia…You knew right?"

His brother's revelation shocked Syou silent eyes moving back to his brother unwillingly and when those achingly nostalgic, fear ridden eyes met his he felt his heart break in another way. Of course he knew, but he didn't want to accept it.

"I could feel it too…right here." Kaoru was obviously undeterred by Syou's discomfort, rising meaningfully from his seat and pressing his hand lightly against his brother's chest.

Syou nearly trembled at the contact. Without a doubt Kaoru already knew what it do to him. No matter what his biggest regret would be leaving Kaoru behind. Though Syou would never admit it to his brother one of the reasons he left for Saotome Academy was to get Kaoru used to life without him. His intentions weren't morbid; he didn't plan on letting go of life so easily, but the fact remained that they wouldn't be together forever.

"Kaoru…" Syou tried to make his brother stop but his voice was weak and the said boy simply closed his eyes against the rather pitiful plea. Even though he was supposed to be the older brother Kaoru made him feel like a child, silencing him without a word. A second later like a child himself Kaoru crawled up onto Syou's bed, who without thought scooted over to facilitate the action. Soon Kaoru was settled, as comfortably as the two could manage on the narrow bed, head leaning against Syou's thin shoulder, hand never leaving its spot over his older brother's heart. It was the same position they found themselves in every time Syou fell ill.

"I over heard the doctor talking to mom and dad," Kaoru announced disturbing the peace that had just began to settle.

Instantly Syou knew the reason for his brother's anxiety. Syou had learned long ago not to consider anything the doctor said as fact; Kaoru seemed incapable of the same feat. "He said you had a minor heart attack. The muscles of your heart were too weak to stimulate blood flow and the veins collapsed because of it."

Syou sighed again, "I told you, I'll be fine." He knew already, Kaoru, his parents, they all knew that someday his weak heart would give out. There was nothing he could do, nothing the doctors could do. Syou took his medicine everyday even without Kaoru or his mother nagging him to do so, but it was no cure.

Heart transplant. The words rung through his head with a dreadful finality. The blonde could remember the first time he heard the suggestion, years ago after one of his more traumatic attacks and subsequent hospital stays. His mother had cried that day, right in front of both him and Kaoru, it was the first time he had seen his mother anything but strong and cheerful. Kaoru clung to him then as his did now; terrified as Syou was at the words they could not even comprehend.

Now they both knew the full implication of the verdict Syou had been given at the tender age of four, he would die without a new heart. And so they waited, waited for the rare morbid chance that someone else's death provided him with a matching donor. Until then he would live every day to the fullest, without regret and never holding back because of his supposed limitations. That's what he decided for himself.

Syou closed his eyes against the thought, reclining a bit further into the stiff pillow beneath his head and shifting just a bit closer to the warm heat his twin. He could feel Kaoru's strong steady heart beat against his arm, such a comparison to his own miserably shallow, still slightly uneven rhythm. Syou took comfort in the steady pace; it was enough knowing Kaoru was healthy to make his own problems less burdensome; Syou would accept all this and more if that meant Kaoru could live a long life. It was a selfish thought he knew, his brother probably wished the reverse every day, but Syou would never regret the notion.

* * *

"Syouuuu-chan! I was soo worried!" An obnoxiously loud voice, completely inappropriate for a hospital, announced passionately as soon as the door to his room flew open. Syou hardly had time to prepare himself or his brother, who had worried himself into exhaustion beside him, from the imminent impact of his roommate that was sure to follow the arrival message. It was only a moment later that Natsuki had Syou, and due to unfortunate placement Kaoru, within his coddling embrace.

The was only a quiet yelp of surprise from Kaoru and an annoyed huff from Syou before a quick elbow to his overemotional roommate's stomach saved the twins from asphyxiating on curly golden locks.

"If you were really so worried then stop trying to chock me!" Syou spat indignantly yet only moments later he was smiling, he had had enough of the tearful trepidation and concern over his illness. Natsuki didn't know how to be sad. Sitting up in the bed Syou again ignored the anxious look his brother sent him. Yet when Kaoru tried to move way, off the bed and out of the spot light, Syou caught him by the hand and his attempt to escape ended abruptly.

"Ha!" Natsuki huffed overzealously, holding his middle as if the blow had crippled him. "Otoya-chan said that Nacchan should be gentle with poor sick Syou-chan…and what does he get in return? Punched?!" The bespectacled blonde began muttering to himself. The boy's arms flailed for a bit before an accusing finger landed on Ittoki whose look of apprehension had melted with Syou's smile and was now grinning freely. "Tell him Otoya-chan, how worried I was!" Natsuki whined like a child.

Syou sighed dramatically rolling his eyes, "I bet while I was gone you went wild and filled our room with a bunch of junk we don't need. If there's anything on my side I'm going to hurt you for real." It was an empty threat yet Natsuki played it out regardless.

The golden haired youth gasped and fell against Ittoki like a limp noddle crying, "Oh how can such cruelty be trapped in such a tiny body?!"

"Don't call me tiny!" Syou countered ruffled, beside him Kaoru's hand tightened around his. A silent plea to not get too excited before he tired once again to move away. Syou sent his brother a questioning look; he knew Kaoru was shy and the energy level of the room was not within his comfort zone but something in Syou didn't want his brother to leave just yet.

"I should go tell mom you have guests," Kaoru announced softly willing Syou to release him.

"Ah! Kaoru-chan! It's good to see you again; you look as cute as always!" Natsuki greeted his twin as if noticing him for the first time.

Kaoru simply smiled at the boy, where Syou would have bristled at the feminizing affection. "Thank you for calling yesterday. We all know Syou wouldn't have." His twin announced charmingly as he moved towards the door, every bit the cool calm gentlemen Syou could never manage to be.

"Of course!" Natsuki replied with a cheerful wave.

"It's not like I could have anyway…" Syou muttered just as his brother disappeared behind the door. It was Kaoru's usual guilt tripping, he was surprisingly good at it for such a nice guy. The singer knew Kaoru worried endlessly about him, and he could stand to call home more often but he let the guilt fade.

"Wow so that's the notorious Kurusu twin…" Ittoki took his turn to speak eyeing the door with appreciation before he turned his eyes to Syou. "Yeah they're identical alright…but something is strange…maybe… yeah, isn't Kaoru-kun a bit taller than Syou? Seemed like it to me. Yeah, and more grown up." The boy looked contemplative nodding seriously.

Syou could feel the twitch slowly developing in his right eye.

"Actually, since you brought it up Kaoru is the taller of the two! By five centimeters!" His roommate threw his weigh into the conversation.

His little tidbit of information made Syou's mouth fall open and face pale, "How do you!?" the blonde sputtered but quickly stopped himself, "Shut up!" he mumbled instead, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Now was not the time to get worked up, though it made him wonder if his friends really were trying to kill him off. No doubt yesterday's episode had put his heart problems on full display. Already without Kaoru's presence he could feel the uneasy pounding of his heart returning.

Surprisingly the two didn't tease him further and instead settled into a new less dangerous topic.

"So, you're okay then? We really were scared yesterday when you just fainted like that. I though Nacchan's food finally did you in or something." Ittoki's joke earned him a smack upside the head from said Nacchan.

"I'll be fine, and back to school as soon as they let me out of here," Syou announced assuredly.

"Do you know when you'll be able to leave?" Natsuki questioned excitedly sitting on the edge of his seat, green eyes glistening.

Syou shrugged dismissively, "In a day or two at the most," he wasn't sure of course, he had heard from neither the doctors nor his parents yet but that was the usual drill, unless his heart started acting up again or some nonsense that would force the doctors to run more unnecessary tests.

The two nodded in understanding at his words, the lingering tension draining from their shoulders. And Syou himself relaxed when he concluded that the two wouldn't be pestering him about to details of yesterday's attack.

"That's great! We have our big show coming up and we couldn't do it without our cute Syou-chan!" Natsuki squealed with all the grace and professionalism of a true diehard fan-girl. Once again Syou found himself struggling against the warm suffocating arms of his roommate, shifting uncomfortable as Natsuki's new position cause the IV in his arm to tug slightly.

"Watch it," Syou complained prodding the boy to get off. Immediately Natsuki was up, face serious, eyes ghosting over Syou for any source for discomfort he might have caused.

"It's fine," the bedridden blonde announce before his friend had time to formulate an apology. He didn't need Natsuki to get all sappy now.

Luckily an inquiry from Ittoki successfully ended the conversation, "This may be a bit noisy, but I'm kinda curious…" the red head began innocently enough and Syou nodded for him to continue. "What are those for? I've been to the hospital a few times but I've never seen anything like that before." Ittoki finished gesturing toward the electrodes adhered securely to both of Syou's wrists and the small bundle of wires leading from the ones stuck to the left side of his chest.

Syou looked down to the wires in surprised for a moment, it wasn't an especially rare procedure, but perhaps that was only so for patients with heart conditions. He had it done during every hospital visit for as long as he could remember, it was as normal as the IV drip or finger monitor to Syou.

"Oh, they're for the EKG machine," the teen shrugged, getting an EKG was the least of his worries.

Natsuki on the other hand gasped in horror one hand sweeping upward to cover his mouth as he gaped in shock the other clutching a handful of white blankets. Syou jerked away from the reaction and even the laid back Ittoki looked suddenly concerned.

"Sy-Syou-chan…You're…You're pregnant!?" Natsuki cried dramatically, unfathomably serious.

The room was trapped for a spell of shocked silence at the statement until Syou exploded, "What are you an idiot!?" the boy yelled utterly flabbergasted. Natsuki's innocent look of confusion and Ittoki laughing hysterically behind him did nothing to calm the storm raging in Syou's mind. As to why would Natsuki even say something so disturbing, Syou hadn't the slightest clue.

"It's to monitor my heart!" The blonde spat for good measure, to dissuade anymore strange idea's from taking root in his demented roommates mind. "And you guys are messing up the readings! Stop making me mad!" he added falling back onto his bed suddenly exhausted, but not truly angry. While the two boys were rowdy and annoying the excitement was what brought him to life. Though it was still a bit too soon for now his heart was pounding rapidly.

Soon Ittoki's laughter died down and Natsuki finally dropped his mentally challenged act and smiled softly. "Sorry Syou-chan, I just figure you needed some cheering up after being stuck in here all day," Natsuki explained suddenly acting his age.

Once Natsuki had calmed down the conversations took a much smoother turn and it wasn't long before Kaoru returned, slipping quietly back into the room, reclaiming his spot beside Syou. His friend didn't stay much longer after that, wishing Syou a speedy recovery and with a clamor of heartfelt goodbyes from Natsuki the room descended once again into peaceful quiet.

With a light yawn Syou allowed his head to fall against his brother's shoulder and Kaoru in response sunk down onto the mattress so that they were both lying side by side again. Entwining their fingers Syou's eyes slid shut and he hoped his brother would follow his lead and get some rest as well.

The next day, as predicted, Syou was released from the hospital with an upped dose of Digoxin to slow his heart, a prescription for a new vasodilator to encourage more blood flow, and instructions to avoid 'stress inducing behavior' whatever that meant. Despite his promise to return to school upon release instead Syou went home for a few days to recover at his family's request.

Visiting family was nice and Kaoru was especial ecstatic to have him around again but there was only so much babying he could subject himself too before the longing for freedom landed him back at Saotome at the start of the new week.

Syou was aware of the special treatment he received from his friends upon his return, concern and attentiveness, as if he were suddenly prone to fainting on the spot. But even Natsuki was still unaware of the slowly failing time bomb in his chest and soon things returned to normal.

Syou still yelled, and got angry, and ran around, and was chased, and laughed, and lived. He didn't know what tomorrow would hold, another day of fun and singing with Natsuki and everyone, or death, yet neither did anyone else and he was fine with that. As long as he lived today, tomorrow was not important.

**Review and tell me what you think :D**


	2. Tomorrow

**Sorry! By all accounts this shouldn't have taken so long to get out; I tried to do a bit of proof reading and ended up adding a lot XD Plus life gets in the way sometimes. One last part after this, shouldn't take nearly as long to be uploaded. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Uta no Prince-sama! If I did Syou's life would be a lot antsier XD **

**Natsuki/Syou- light**

* * *

For Tomorrow:

"Syou-chan? Natsuki's voice penetrated the dark silence of their shared dorm room just as Syou was about to fall asleep. Thus, in response to the disturbance Syou answer with an appropriately irritated, sleepy grunt. With all the performances and assignments stacking up the days were growing long and draining, and to say that Syou was tired would be an understatement.

"What?" The blonde finally acknowledged when his roommate fell into silence. It wasn't like Natsuki to keep quiet about his thoughts, and it never bode well.

When Natsuki made a small whine of hesitation Syou flopped over onto his side to glare past the darkness towards the dim outline of the boy across from him. He made sure to punctuate the sigh that brushed past his lips with audible exasperation. Whatever was bothering Natsuki now would only fester into something more annoying the longer Syou left it alone so he might as well deal with it now. Natsuki needed the rest just as much as he did.

"Just spit it out, we have to get up early for rehearsal tomorrow," Syou complained, though his voice wasn't completely free of curiosity as too what had Natsuki in such a strange sullen mood. Even within the privacy of their own room it was rare for Natsuki's more thoughtful side to emerge.

"Can I ask you something personal?" The boy across from his requested quietly, his voice slightly distorted, as if he were addressing the wall rather than Syou himself. The shorter boy was immediately suspicious; Natsuki attempting tack was always dangerous, the glasses wearing teenager was a master at getting exactly what he was looking for.

After a moment of internal debate over whether his curiosity out weighted the possibility that Natsuki would uncover some random embarrassing tidbit of information, Syou consented.

"Go ahead," he agreed slowly, making sure Natsuki could hear the warning in his voice. This time he would not be fooled into releasing anything his roommate could use as blackmail.

"Promise you won't lie to me?" Natsuki's next question had Syou more than a little taken aback. Sure he had a habit of simplifying and generalizing things but he was never a liar.

Syou was instantly defensive, "Why would I?!" Syou spat, annoyance spiking high with the request paired with Natsuki's intentional ambiguity.

"Just humor me," Natsuki responded vaguely and Syou could nearly hear the small forced smile spreading across the other boy's lips. It wasn't a very flattering expression to even imagine and he hoped the other wasn't actually wearing it.

"Whatever," Syou dismissed still making his discontent known, "Fine, I promise okay?" It wasn't that big of a deal, he wasn't planning to lie about anything anyway, but that fact that Natsuki required it was a bit upsetting.

"Syou…Are you dying?"

Startled by the morbid question Syou shot up from his bed in order to stare incredulously at the sloping mass of Natsuki's shadowy form. He wasn't expecting anything like this, Natsuki's usual absurdities, fine, but thoughtful Natsuki was even harder to predict than insane Natsuki. Honestly Syou wasn't prepared in the slightest to handle this particular question.

"Huh?" His response was as ineloquent and baffled as his thoughts. Why would Natsuki suddenly ask something like that? Syou attempted to reason out the unreasonable. For a moment Syou entertained the idea of some secret correspondence between his roommate and brother but quickly dismissed it. Kaoru was not so manipulative as to involve Natsuki with his paranoia, and Natsuki, despite his usual bravado of ignorance, wasn't quite as airheaded as he led on. It was only a matter of time before he started to get suspicious of Syou's condition.

Natsuki remained stubbornly silent and that was all the confirmation Syou needed to know exactly what it was his roommate was getting at. Yet the timing still made little sense. It had been weeks since his last impromptu trip to the hospital and though he had a few checkups, no more than a handful, it wasn't anything too unusual or informative.

"Everyone dies eventually," Syou deadpanned, finally finding his thoughts again. Whatever state of mind that had Natsuki asking such questions Syou intended to sever immediately.

"Syou…" Natsuki's dejected voice signaled his dissatisfaction with Syou's response, yet the smaller of the two felt no guilt. His statement was fact, and he couldn't fathom a more correct answer to the question. He would die when his time came, as would Natsuki. There was no need for this discussion. Satisfied with his justification Syou flopped onto his back fully ready to ignore anymore of Natsuki's around-about inquiries and sleep.

"You have a heart condition right? Last time… What happened last time was caused by it right?" This time Natsuki was more direct and Syou felt a shiver of apprehension rush through him. He didn't want to have this conversation, not now, not ever. Yet leave it to Natsuki to stew over the details for weeks before finally talking about it. Syou figured his roommate had harbored these feelings ever since his attack and was now too bothered to leave the subject alone. When Natsuki hadn't bothered about it within the first week Syou had the audacity to think that some actually trusted his judgment on this matter. But as usual he was wrong; of course Natsuki, his self-appointed caretaker, number-one-fan-thus-overseer, and unconventionally clingy roommate would worry.

"I guess…" Syou sighed, there was no reason to lie to Natsuki, he was already concerned and could connect the details easily enough himself. "But that doesn't mean I'm dying!" Syou tacked on sounding a bit more upset then he had intended. He didn't want Natsuki's pity.

"But you've been going to all those doctor's appointments and sometimes you look so tired…I-"

"Stop it." Syou cut the other boy off before he could go any further, a scowl crossing his fair features. Natsuki was being unfair, just like Kaoru, and his parents, and his doctors. No one could judge his limitations except himself. They were all tired, with shows and rehearsal round the clock, plus class still to attend there wasn't a single member of Starish not feeling the strain, but only he was singled out, like everything else he tried to do. No sports, no stress, no excitement. What no one seemed to realize was that was Syou, high tension, energy; and without this fast paced, action filled lifestyle there would hardly be a life to live.

When the tense silence stretched on Syou could hear Natsuki writhe within his sheets before finally sitting up and questioned softly, "Syou…?" It was obvious he caught the drift that he had offended his friend, and Syou was glad for it would save him the explaining; which he was hardly in the state of mind to deliver. The blond could feel the fuse of anger simmering its way through his veins, hot against his skin and quick in his heart.

"I know you're concerned and whatever but just… don't be. I'm not a kid anymore; I can take care of myself. I don't need you or anyone else telling me how to live my life." Syou couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice, well-manicured fingers digging harshly into the soft material of his duvet. A rather pitiful, ruefully unresponsive, outlet for his growing discontent. He knew Natsuki didn't deserve such a harsh reprehend but he was truly tired of people looking down on him, thinking him incapable, inadequate. Especially Natsuki; they were supposed to be partners, friends, equals. So he had a medical condition, that didn't make him weaker, or less able, if anything it made him stronger, more determined, and less hesitant.

"I'm sorry!" Natsuki apologized much too quickly, "I know that! I know you can… Syou-chan." He was still worried, Syou could hear it in his hasty words, the air was thick with it. A palpable suffocating concern. Concern Syou neither needed nor wanted, not now, not while he was health and enjoying life.

Taking in a deep breath Syou forced himself to swallow back his anger and give Natsuki the diplomatic answer he deserved, yet one that would cure him of his unnecessary fear. Obviously his short tempered responses were getting them nowhere fast with Natsuki's insatiable need for reassurance.

"Listen," Syou began softly, more exasperated and tired than comforting but much calmer, which made all the difference in the quiet lull of their bedroom. Even in the dark he could see Natsuki leaning towards him as if hanging from the words that had not yet even past his lips.

Obliged by his neighbor's anticipation Syou continued, "No one knows when they're going to die… Not me, not you, not even Ren who thinks he knows everything. So I never spend my time thinking about it. Sure I have a heart condition, but I'll never let that limit me. I'm going to live my life to the fullest with no regrets, for myself and for my friends and family. Because that's all any of us can do in the long run." Syou's eyes turned up to the ceiling and he listened to his voice as if someone else were speaking the words. In the corner of his vision he could see the rather eerily gleam of Natsuki's glasses reflecting a sliver of light that flittered in from the thin space below the door "We struggle, and we live. We live for as long as we can and try to find happiness. Right now, Natsuki, I'm happy. I look forward to everyday I get to spend with you guys. I don't stop to wonder when I'll die, because right now I'm alive and that's all that matters to me."

From the other side of the room Syou heard a pathetically suppressed sob and he groaned despite the tense seriousness his thoughts held not moments earlier. Bracing himself Syou was only rendered breathless when seconds later the full brunt of Natsuki's weight landed on top of him. Pinned to the bed Syou could only lay still as the golden haired idol crushed him in an embrace, face burrowing into the material of his night shirt.

"I-I don't want to lose you Syou!" Natsuki sobbed, voice cracking with such emotion Syou shivered along with him. Natsuki wasn't supposed to be sad, and he was most definitely not supposed to be crying; for a moment Syou remained rigid, frozen with uncertainty. Even Kaoru never broken down quite like this before, and the only time Natsuki's personality strayed this far from bubbly was when he lost his glasses. But the alter ego Satsuki was never sad, and this was most definitely Natsuki.

Just Natsuki scared and seeking comfort; the thought calmed Syou. Right now the other boy seemed to need more than just his explanation to calm down so Syou would allow, just for tonight, Natsuki to cling and cuddle him. Finally Syou relaxed into the embrace and slowly he brought an arm around his friend the other moving to brush through curly strands of gold.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

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